Dancing with Darkness

Dancing with Darkness
Black and white photo showing ju90, dressed in a silver vest and black g-string, sitting and looking into the distance, with a pair of ballet shoes in her left hand and her right hand resting on her walking stick.

Black and white photo showing ju90, dressed in a silver vest and black g-string, sitting and looking into the distance, with a pair of ballet shoes in her left hand and her right hand resting on her walking stick.

Black and white photo showing ju90, dressed in a her decorated spinal brace, a silver vest and black g-string, sitting holding her ballet shoes in front of her and looking into the distance with a determined expression on her face.

Black and white photo showing ju90, dressed in her decorated spinal brace, a silver vest and black g-string, standing holding her walking stick in front of her like a weapon and looking down at it.

In October 1999 I worked with the photographer Ashley to produce a series of pictures around my memories of training as a dancer, which resulted in this triptych. I have no photographs of this part of my life at all, and ceased to consider myself to be a dancer when I was 18. However, in 1997, when I began exploring a disabled identity through "doing disability" as performance art - see My Not-So-Secret Life as a Cyborg - I began to realise just how much dance has contributed to my psyche and personality. As a result, in 1999 I began choreographing and performing in my own film-dance work.

© Ashley 1999

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Dr Ju Gosling aka ju90's ABNORMAL: How Britain became body dysphoric and the key to a cure is available now for just £3.09 for the Kindle or in a limited-edition hardback with full-colour art plates for £20 inc UK postage and packing.